Mary, you expressed my sentiments perfectly. I love this essay. So hard to believe that a parent is passing from this world, and having a complicated relationship makes it even harder. Really glad you’re taking care of your needs. The candle, John Mayer, sleep. All good therapy.
The Giving Tree has always been held up as a model of selfless action. I agree with you that it’s toxic. Love the concept of reforesting, of re-establishing and renewal. That should be the message.
As I recall, Silverstein wrote some catchy but incredibly sexist song lyrics. I’d have to Google it, but I’m pretty sure it was him. I just hate wading back into that slime of misogyny.
Therapy tomorrow. I’ve been denying myself that essential practice, thinking I can soldier on without it. Wrong.
This is a beautifully crafted, generous essay. That’s the best kind of giving.
Mary, holding giving up to others as a paragon might have held in 1964, but today’s women don’t need that as an ideal. Thank you for recognizing the toxicity.
So thrilled to hear you’re taking advantage of some therapy. I would be lost without my therapist. High praise for those in the profession and for availing yourself the opportunity to get some assistance. Godspeed my friend.
Thanks for another perceptive and honest post, Colleen. I'd say nearly all of us, especially women, have fallen into this trap, and deciding where to set those personal boundaries is a continual, lifelong decision process. Let's hope we get better at it with practice...
Thank you, Mary. Personal boundaries are a constant battle for a child in an enmeshed environment. Actually a foreign concept until later in life for me. I love the idea of it being a decision process; a choice. Excellent.
Mary, you expressed my sentiments perfectly. I love this essay. So hard to believe that a parent is passing from this world, and having a complicated relationship makes it even harder. Really glad you’re taking care of your needs. The candle, John Mayer, sleep. All good therapy.
The Giving Tree has always been held up as a model of selfless action. I agree with you that it’s toxic. Love the concept of reforesting, of re-establishing and renewal. That should be the message.
As I recall, Silverstein wrote some catchy but incredibly sexist song lyrics. I’d have to Google it, but I’m pretty sure it was him. I just hate wading back into that slime of misogyny.
Therapy tomorrow. I’ve been denying myself that essential practice, thinking I can soldier on without it. Wrong.
This is a beautifully crafted, generous essay. That’s the best kind of giving.
Mary, holding giving up to others as a paragon might have held in 1964, but today’s women don’t need that as an ideal. Thank you for recognizing the toxicity.
So thrilled to hear you’re taking advantage of some therapy. I would be lost without my therapist. High praise for those in the profession and for availing yourself the opportunity to get some assistance. Godspeed my friend.
Thanks for another perceptive and honest post, Colleen. I'd say nearly all of us, especially women, have fallen into this trap, and deciding where to set those personal boundaries is a continual, lifelong decision process. Let's hope we get better at it with practice...
Thank you, Mary. Personal boundaries are a constant battle for a child in an enmeshed environment. Actually a foreign concept until later in life for me. I love the idea of it being a decision process; a choice. Excellent.